Totally Fake News Here
Author: William Peden (Contributing author)?
Wed Feb 18 2020
Warner Bros. learned this past weekend that 'Birds of Prey', or as it's called by full diaphragmed fans 'Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)', is not exactly search engine friendly. The Detective Comics "adaptation" couldn't make a dent in the box office due to severe marketing issues coupled with DC film fan chronic agoraphobia. Having to act quickly the movie studio renamed it, 'The Harley Quinn And Maybe Batman Movie'.
The catchy new title appeared last night on ticket sites worldwide. A Warner Bros. executive told TFNH that adding Harley Quinn's name to the beginning of the title gives potential moviegoers a clearer picture of what 'Birds of Prey' is about, but claims the "Maybe Batman" tag is a the real hero in this new marketing strategy.
"No I don't feel bad about teasing a possible Batman appearance in our new movie," said Warner Bros. executive Becker Storck. "Our well paid lawyers have assured me that the qualifier 'maybe' lets us tease anything we want in our movie titles. So maybe he's in the movie and maybe he's not, heh."
Batman is NOT in this movie. A fact that is known because the movie was released worldwide over a week ago. Despite the new title, the DC comics film is completely unchanged from the original. This may seem like a new marketing strategy for Warner Bros. but as he tells TFNH.com Becker Storck has been attempting to tease the billion dollar caped crusader in Warner Bros. properties since he got his first started with the studio in 2008. With Storck's recent promotion to 'Executive in Charge of Batman Movies' his dream is finally becoming reality.
"I've been trying to maybe add Batman in everything Warner Bros. has produced for years," Storck declares. "How about 'Stephen King's It Meets DC's Batman...Maybe'? Could you imagine if by chance those 2 characters perhaps got together maybe? It would be epic. The fans would pay just to find out if the title was accurate."
R-Rated killer clown movies aren't the only Warner Bros. franchises Batman could be "maybe attached to".
In 2018, Lebron James threatened to quit Warner Bos. 'Space Jam' sequel over Storck's original title 'Space Jam: Batman Plays Zone Defense In This Movie, If He Is Even In It 2''.
"I still have faith 'Bron 'Bron and the talking rabbit will put butts in the seats, but I'd feel a lot safer with a certain costumed vigilante in the working title."
He's talking about Batman.
"Last year I wanted our Godzilla movie called 'Godzilla: King of Monsters Attacks Gotham City (Where Batman Lives) But He Might Be On Vacation So Maybe He's In It, Maybe He's Not'. I didn't have the power that I have now. We all know how 'Godzilla: King of Monsters' did at the box office," Storck smirks.
Even Becker Storck knows the limits to his strategy though. When asked if he also tried to get Batman in the Todd Philips oscar winning movie 'The Joker', which actually starred the crime fighter's psycho archnemesis, Storck had an interesting response.
"Absolutely not. I've learned you can't force magic. 'The Joker' never seemed like the right vehicle for Batman, and turns out I was right."
Some industry insiders argue that Storck's reign as 'Executive in Charge of Batman Movies' has squashed the 'greenlighting' of small budget female driven properties in the superhero genre, but Storck respectfully disagrees with those 'dweebs'.
"This movie ('Birds of Prey') got made didn't it? And Batman isn't even in it. Tell those dweebs to come out of their moms' basements and find me a Billion dollar Bat-Woman. Then I'll start pretending she's in our movies too. I do care more about men. Bat-Men."
At the end of the day, the famed movie studio is trying to fix another rocky turnout. 'The Harley Quinn And Maybe Batman Movie' will need to exceed low expectations in its second weekend for Storck's plan to gain traction. Projected numbers are up since the name change though. Increased online ticket sales and positive word of mouth shouted from mothers' basements might just save this movie. If Storck can turn this movie around expect to see more title changes like these coming soon to a theater marquee near you.
'The Hobbit: Batman Punches So Many Hobbits In This Movie Maybe'
'The Hangover 4: Could You Imagine If Batman Was The Designated Driver?'
'Sherlock Holmes vs Batman Maybe: Too Many Detectives, Not Enough Crime'
Argo: Maybe Jimmy Carter Sends Batman In First
#birdofprey #batman #harleyquinn
Trump Kicks Puppies - no seriously
Fraud Occurred in this Election Alright
Nik's next stunt is going to be out of this world