Totally Fake News Here
Fri Apr 06 2018
AUSTIN TEXAS - The host of Info Wars, as it turns out may be less than reputable. Alex Jones, the man responsible for such groundbreaking journalism as, Sandy Hook being faked, Chemtrails, the government uses juice boxes for creating homosexuality, Obama is the global head of Al-Quida, and the New World Order is bent on killing 80% of the world's population. Yes, that Alex Jones.
This is a man who will do a 20 minute show on how dangerous Leprechauns are, and then conveniently sell his viewers a potion to ward off Leprechauns. He's been doing this for decades, and people love him for it. Even the President loves him!
We have discovered that Alex Jones himself is not even a real person. His entire show is filmed in the basement of a 12 year old kid in Albuquerque, NM.
Our dedicated reporters figured this out using the exact same scientific methods that Jones himself uses. Let's start with his birthday. February 11, 1974.
11-2 = 9.
9+72 = 80.
Eight and zero when spelled out, partially makes an anagram for "theorize" which is something Jones supposedly does. But more importantly, when played on a Scrabble board is worth 20 points. Which happens to be the house number on "Point Lane" in Albuquerque, where we know a 12 year old lives with his mother.
You can also make the words, "heroize" and "erotize", which clearly implies that Jones sees himself as an erotic hero. Something only a 12 year old would think of.
If you are interested in learning more about this, and how you can prevent yourself falling prey to Alex Jones' type of "reporting", you can buy our new book entitled, "For $20, I'll Tell You How to Avoid Falling Prey to Alex Jones". Soon to be available through Amazon and other major book sellers.
Trump Kicks Puppies - no seriously
Fraud Occurred in this Election Alright
Nik's next stunt is going to be out of this world